Tell me if this sounds like your life: your children are as different as they come. One kid likes chocolate ice cream, so the other likes vanilla. One likes pop music, so the other listens to rock. One is an introvert, and the other’s constantly on the phone. Whatever one child does, the other does the exact opposite.
As part of their quest to become independent adults, teenagers often struggle with the concept of identity. For that reason, it’s very common to see kids make a very purposeful set of decisions—even if they aren’t great ones—in order to differentiate themselves from the other people in their life. For that reason, if they see that their brother or sister already has an established role, a second or third child will try to define themselves as completely different.
Quite often, we’ll receive calls from parents who have two children: one of which is always on-task and highly motivated, but the other doesn’t seem to take school seriously at all. Many parents begin to wonder: “Is it possible to have two scholars in the same family?”
Of course it is!
One of the great benefits of working with the same tutor on a consistent basis is that we get to know our students as more than just the sum of their academic concerns. Each student is also a child and a sibling, a friend and confidant to others, and has a support system and interpersonal network of their very own. We embrace that concept.
As a result, we tell our students that we don’t care about the performance of other friends, siblings, or anyone else. We’re there for them, and to improve their performance and connection to the material. Over time, our mentorship has allowed countless students to see that they don’t have to define themselves in such narrow terms or by such restrictive roles. It’s possible to be a jock and an athlete. It’s still rewarding to get an A, even if your big sister earned one first, or if she earns them often.
Many students have no idea how much power they give their siblings. Imagine always having to do the opposite of what someone else did! Often times, success in school can be liberating—it can be another way for a teen to create an identity of their very own.
With all that in mind, it’s our position that each one of your kids is “The smart kid.” Contact us today, and we’d love to talk a little more about how we’ve helped past students find their academic footing. Especially when they may be surrounded by high achievers in the same family.
